Anxiety.

School starts in less than one month...and I can't even think about it.  Actually, I can't stop thinking about it.  I know many moms who can't wait for school to start.  And that's fine.  There is a niceness to it in a way...more time to myself, more organization, more of a schedule.  But really...none of that is me.  I enjoy being with my kids, I'm not organized whatsoever, and I hate having a schedule.

Let me expand on the "I enjoy being with my kids" statement.  Don't get me wrong.  There are several times during the day when I think I'm going to run away if one more person says "Mommmeeeeee"...but the thought of nobody being here to call me Mommy makes me physically ill.  And granted there are several days when I send all of us to our rooms (me included) for some afternoon "quiet time."  But what am I going to do when all day is quiet time??  I certainly am NOT going to be doing laundry or housework.  Am.  Not.

I also love the whole no schedule thing.  I hate having a schedule.  Hate.  Despise.  Detest.  I hate having to wake up at a certain time...having to rush the kids off to the bus (because honestly, no matter how organized I try to be in the morning, someone can't eat fast enough, somebody lolligags in their room while they are dressing, or someone has a meltdown because of some minuscule thing that could never have been predicted), I hate how full the calendar becomes...I hate having a schedule.  I hate having to be somewhere on time.  On someone else's time.


So in the few weeks before school starts...and in the past weeks since it has ended...we have enjoyed summer.  Enjoyed each other.  Just enjoyed.  Granted I'm no perfect parent...nowhere near.  But we are enjoying the steps along the way.  (And we are learning to deal with the steps we aren't enjoying quite as much.)  But what I love so much about this time is that it is slow.  Well...relatively speaking.

So, I ask you to indulge in summer and enjoy with us.  Slow down.  Breathe.  Listen to the birds sing.  Feel the heaviness of the heat.  Turn off the tv.  Read books to each other.  Build pillow forts.  And obstacle courses.  Finger paint.  Swing.  Run.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

I mean really...breathe in...breathe out.  Be mindful.  Enjoy.